The organisers would be fined heavily, and farmers and stockmen hauled into court, and most likely banned from keeping livestock for life.
The Sunday tabloids, Farmers Weekly, and social media would be awash with images of skeletal livestock, and the farming industry would be slated.
How can it be acceptable for fashion houses such as Vogue, Dior, and Manorex amongst others, to parade young men and women in this condition, many like those starving in war torn Africa. At the risk of appearing tasteless, shockingly some could double as survivors of Bergen-Belson, liberated by the British in the spring of 1945.
Why the fashion industry is allowed to manipulate vulnerable young people into starving themselves in this manner is a mystery, it must be stopped.
The stockmen who present their show livestock maintain traditional standards and are well turned out. Not only do they wear dazzling white coats, or at the very least white shirts, they must always wear a tie.
Can it be right that Speaker Bercow can on a whim decide to lower standards within the chamber of the ‘Mother of Parliament’, by telling male MPs they need not wear ties?
How would John Bright, the British politician and reformer who coined the phrase ‘Mother of Parliament’, in January 1865, view this move, which reduces parliament, so admired around the world, to that of a rest room at the local Tesco store?
Mr Bercow had already demeaned the position of Speaker to little more than a clerk, when he decided he was more important than the office he holds, by refusing to wear traditional court dress. He also degrades his position by regularly ignoring the rule that the Speaker should be non-partisan.
To give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he misinterprets the convention that the speaker casts the ‘tie-breaking vote’. Doing away with ties is an insult to parliament, hopefully MPs will not follow his lead but do the opposite.
Unfortunately some people who find themselves elevated to traditional roles such as Speaker or High Sheriff, for example, believe their status is all about them. It is not, it is the position they hold that gives them elevated status.
Next week we have our annual Red Tractor inspection. The occasion requires us to produce records of everything that takes place on the farm relating to the arable crops and livestock.
We must hold certificates of competence, and prove we know what we are doing, from spraying, to weighing the cattle, mixing feed rations, and testing moisture meters.
The inspector will check that if we keep both entire bulls and female cattle, they are not housed in the same pens, as this can risk injury to both beasts and handlers.
What a pity that the same Red Tractor inspectors are not given the task of inspecting our NHS hospital wards. There they would find there have been over 7,771 incidents of mixed sex wards over the past year.
Despite hospitals facing fines of £250 a day for breaching the rule, the problem is increasing. High bed occupancy is the reason given, which is clearly a management and numbers problem. Under Red Tractor rules, this would be unacceptable.
During our inspection we must provide evidence that yards have been emptied and deep cleaned, a practise which ensures our livestock are kept safe from infections. Not so in NHS hospitals. When patients vacate beds they are swiftly prepared for the next, without deep cleaning or resting, an essential practise to help prevent infections such as MRSA.
Today it is safer to be a farm animal than a sick member of the public, something must be done about overcrowding in our hospitals.